Page_two

TRUE:

The Test: Observed a local community of Lizards for 18 weeks. Using an old Mac laptop and a volume of Time-Life's "Talk To The Animals" home library series (Vol. 14: LIZARD LINGO), I made what I believe to to be the world's most detailed record to date of the language of lizards.

FINDINGS: Rather than bore you with the entire lizard lexicon (which when translated from start to finish burns over 26 million calories), I present to you a fully translated lizard conversation which took place January 10, 2004.

Lizard #1: [1,... 2,... 3,... 4,...]    "Hey."

Lizard #2:   [1,... 2,... 3,... 4,...]   "Hey."

Lizard #1: [9,... 10,... 11,... 12,.]  "What're you doin'?"

Lizard #2: [9,... 10,... 11,... 12,...] "What're YOU doin'?"

Lizard #1: [17..18...19...20..etc. ] "I asked you first."

Lizard #2: "Push-ups, OK? I'm doin' push ups. Same as you an' everybody else around here."

Gecko: [1,... 2,... 3,... 4,...] "Hey."

Lizards #1 and #2: "Hey."

Gecko : [9,.................10,..............11,..............12,..] Waaaasssuuuup!

Lizard #2: "For cryin' out loud, can you keep it down over there? A guy can't even hear himself push-up over all that racket."

Gecko: "Touch-eeee! What's his problem?"

Lizard #1: "He's just poutin' cuz he's only at 85 push-ups so far today."

Lizard #2: "WHAT!? I've done over a hundred if I've done one, you little..."

Lizard #1: "You call those push-ups? It doesn't count in my book unless you...."

Chameleon: [ ...2, ...3,...4,... ] HEY!

Lizard #1: "AAAHHH!"

Gecko: "GAAAAH!"

Lizard #2: "Jeez, Leon, don't sneak up on a guy like that."

Chameleon: "Ooops. Sorry. Really sorry. My bad again."

Lizard #1: "For god's snake, Leon! It's the the third time this week."

Chameleon: "Hey, I said I was sorry, didn't I? Look, it's not like I can control my environment, you know! In fact it's the other way around, if anybody'd care to notice. Remember that time in the house with the plaid tablecloth? The shock nearly killed me. I thought I'd never..."

Lizard #1: "Hey, who's that?"

Lizard #2: "Who's who?"

Lizard #1: "That! Him. The big ugly guy by the house. Look at the size of that guy. I've never seen anybody that big before."

Gecko: "Oh, that guy... he's new. Says his name is, uh, 'Ig' or something and he 'wants to go to Mexico' to see somebody named 'Tee Jay,' and I think..."

Lizard #2: "You idiot. his name's not "Ig." He's an IGUANA and he's from Mexico."

Chameleon: "Well, who is 'Tee-Jay'?"

Lizard #2: "How the hell should I know? Do I look like I speak Iguana?"

Lizard #1: "What's THAT he's doing? I mean,... what IS that? I can barely make it out."

Lizard #2: "It's called a 'sit-up'."

Gecko: "Damn foreigners... You know? I mean they come up here, take all our good flies... sit on our best rocks... The least they could do is learn the language."

Lizard #1 : "SALAMANDER at 3 o'clock!"

Lizard #2: "Whoa -- will you look at the smooth on her."

Chameleon: "Wow, I'll say! I'd love to know what it feels like to be that color! Hey!... H-h-hey... she's lookin' right at me!"

Lizard #1: "As if, invisible man! That's ME she's lookin' at."

Lizard #2: "CAN IT, you two, she's coming this way..."

SALAMANDER: "Mornin', boys."

Gecko: [2556....2557....2558.....2559] "pant pant pant"
Lizard #2: [....4000....4001....4002...4003] "pant, groan, strain"
Lizard #1: [10,506......uh.......10,507................uh.............10,508.........] "uuuuhn"
Chameleon: [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

ADDITIONAL: Push-ups burn more calories than sit-ups.

Humphrey's 3/25/-2004 Alice Tedde Fanola Witness Protection Program (Mark and ??)
Witte 40th Birthday Where's the Birthday girl?
HOOLEYFEST 2004
Cellphone request line	Radar Doug Not Bob / Bob	(2nd best picture of the audience) Back -O-Van
		(2nd best picture of the audience) Back -O-Van
MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS 2004 Not even close All rights reserved Yuma's infamous Peak-a-Boo Sisters		>alentine's Day - 2004 < your face here > BICYCLOPS!
		CChula Vista Chamber of Commerce Installation Dinner 2004"" Drummer cam MMiss Southbay and Miss Bonita meet Mr. Clairemont
BAY PARK ELEMENTARY ROCKS! "School of Rock!"
WELLPOINT ROCKS! Click here to send us an E-mail! Sleep-walking thru the "Wooly" ambience. See me, feel me. Bend me, shape me.. CLICK HERE for an Mpeg snippet of "AMERICAN PIE"
		GM in Las Vegas 2004 VIVA ROCKOLA! 3 of a kind Uninvited (but very welcome) guests Giving something back
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame "Hello Cleveland" "Breakin' the law, breakin' the law..."
		CITY of TORRANCE (Annual Awards Dinner) Making it fresh for you. It's a Torrance thing. (You wouldn't understand)
RALEIGH ROCKS! "WHEEL" ... "OF" ... "MARK!"
		WHITE ALBUM LIVE
		WHITE ALBUM LIVE T-SHIRTS
		Stuff U-BUY (click)
		Stuff U-BUY (click)
The Snapple Cap Experiments. Current / Archives
CORONADO PROMENADE CONCERT 8/10/2003 In an unprecedented display of love and appreciation, the people of Coronado present ROCKOLA with a small child.
LAKE MURRAY JULY 4th MUSIC FESTIVAL 2003

WOODSTOCK IN NAPLES Ravi who? Puttin' on the Ritz (Carlton) Hotels hate it when you do this.		Indian Motorcycle, Victorville Q: How many Rockola guys does it take to play a guitar solo?
		International relief Teams Hotels hate it when you do this.
		WD-40 Turns 50! Can you find Bob in this picture.
		WD-40 Turns 50! Can you find Bob in this picture.

Dr. Laura's Annual 50th Birthday Bash ---- - ------ROCKOLA and the Birthday Girl Peggy "Sue" Totzke & Bob "Bobarann" Tedde
PICTURES CONTINUED PAGE 4 PAGE 5
The Snapple Cap Experiments Bob Tedde here. It's no secret that I think Diet Peach Snapple is the best soft drink ever. Besides tasting like real diet peaches, each bottle comes with a "Real Fact" printed under its lid. In the last six months I have developed a serious addiction to these little factoids, an addiction which came to a head last February when I was physically ejected from my local Albertson's while attempting to read the underside of their Snapple inventory with a high powered Mag-light and a dental mirror. (I stress that at NO time did I ever remove any of the caps from their safety-sealed bottles or any bottles from their plastic four-packs or cardboard cases.) Two weeks later, while seeking some clarification with regards to "Real Fact" #127, I was stunned to discover that the powers-what-be in "fact" hadn't a single piece of documentation readily available to back up any of their cap-toid claims. I was actually told to "check the website" and to "lighten up" and that the whole thing was supposed to be "just for fun." Well I'm sorry but that's just not right. But what to do? Not being one to cry over spilt tea, I have taken it upon myself to personally test as many Snapple "Real Facts" as I can and present the results to you here on this page. Should this page or I disappear without notice, please send any copies you have to ten friends with the subject line "This is for REAL, do not delete"
TRUE: The Test: Observed a local community of Lizards for 18 weeks. Using an old Mac laptop and a volume of Time-Life's "Talk To The Animals" home library series (Vol. 14: LIZARD LINGO), I made what I believe to to be the world's most detailed record to date of the language of lizards. FINDINGS: Rather than bore you with the entire lizard lexicon (which when translated from start to finish burns over 26 million calories), I present to you a fully translated lizard conversation which took place January 10, 2004. Lizard #1: [1,... 2,... 3,... 4,...] "Hey." Lizard #2: [1,... 2,... 3,... 4,...] "Hey." Lizard #1: [9,... 10,... 11,... 12,.] "What're you doin'?" Lizard #2: [9,... 10,... 11,... 12,...] "What're YOU doin'?" Lizard #1: [17..18...19...20..etc. ] "I asked you first." Lizard #2: "Push-ups, OK? I'm doin' push ups. Same as you an' everybody else around here." Gecko: [1,... 2,... 3,... 4,...] "Hey." Lizards #1 and #2: "Hey." Gecko : [9,.................10,..............11,..............12,..] Waaaasssuuuup! Lizard #2: "For cryin' out loud, can you keep it down over there? A guy can't even hear himself push-up over all that racket." Gecko: "Touch-eeee! What's his problem?" Lizard #1: "He's just poutin' cuz he's only at 85 push-ups so far today." Lizard #2: "WHAT!? I've done over a hundred if I've done one, you little..." Lizard #1: "You call those push-ups? It doesn't count in my book unless you...." Chameleon: [ ...2, ...3,...4,... ] HEY! Lizard #1: "AAAHHH!" Gecko: "GAAAAH!" Lizard #2: "Jeez, Leon, don't sneak up on a guy like that." Chameleon: "Ooops. Sorry. Really sorry. My bad again." Lizard #1: "For god's snake, Leon! It's the the third time this week." Chameleon: "Hey, I said I was sorry, didn't I? Look, it's not like I can control my environment, you know! In fact it's the other way around, if anybody'd care to notice. Remember that time in the house with the plaid tablecloth? The shock nearly killed me. I thought I'd never..." Lizard #1: "Hey, who's that?" Lizard #2: "Who's who?" Lizard #1: "That! Him. The big ugly guy by the house. Look at the size of that guy. I've never seen anybody that big before." Gecko: "Oh, that guy... he's new. Says his name is, uh, 'Ig' or something and he 'wants to go to Mexico' to see somebody named 'Tee Jay,' and I think..." Lizard #2: "You idiot. his name's not "Ig." He's an IGUANA and he's from Mexico." Chameleon: "Well, who is 'Tee-Jay'?" Lizard #2: "How the hell should I know? Do I look like I speak Iguana?" Lizard #1: "What's THAT he's doing? I mean,... what IS that? I can barely make it out." Lizard #2: "It's called a 'sit-up'." Gecko: "Damn foreigners... You know? I mean they come up here, take all our good flies... sit on our best rocks... The least they could do is learn the language." Lizard #1 : "SALAMANDER at 3 o'clock!" Lizard #2: "Whoa -- will you look at the smooth on her." Chameleon: "Wow, I'll say! I'd love to know what it feels like to be that color! Hey!... H-h-hey... she's lookin' right at me!" Lizard #1: "As if, invisible man! That's ME she's lookin' at." Lizard #2: "CAN IT, you two, she's coming this way..." SALAMANDER: "Mornin', boys." Gecko: [2556....2557....2558.....2559] "pant pant pant" Lizard #2: [....4000....4001....4002...4003] "pant, groan, strain" Lizard #1: [10,506......uh.......10,507................uh.............10,508.........] "uuuuhn" Chameleon: [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] ADDITIONAL: Push-ups burn more calories than sit-ups.
SNAPPLE CAP ARCHIVES